ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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