Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
