i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize