I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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