I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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