got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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