worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
