The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize