Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
