I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
