somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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