so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
