there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
