Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize