Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I deserve this hangover.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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