I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
