u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
