worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
