have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
