I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
