It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
