yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
