Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I have aggressive nipples.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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