Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
