sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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