I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
