Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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