After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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