Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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