I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
