So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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