Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I am mentally ready for anal.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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