Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
