I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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