matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
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