i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
