I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
