You're completely useless in the revolution.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize