I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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