We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
