Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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