First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Randomize
