I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
