this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
