Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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