I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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