i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
