I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
