It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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