Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
