Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
