I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
