***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize