I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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