Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
