Moan for me like Helen Keller
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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