Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
