HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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