I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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