All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
